Ain't nothing gonna break my stride

So here it goes...

Eden was in a car accident yesterday. She is fine... everyone is just fine. Thank god. She was with Zander and our wonderful nanny, Nicole. To avoid bogging you down with details, I will just say that a very devastating situation was avoided and we are all so grateful for the outcome.

But I must admit, all I want to scream is "what the @#$% is happening?!"

I have spent a day or so processing all of my many thoughts and I will tell you what I have come up with, but first here are some of the things other people have said to me:

1. Bad things come in 3s: The broken leg, broken wrist, and now this accident. Remember, the transplant was a good thing, unbelievably stressful, but still good. Also, we are discounting all of the other hardship Eden has been through up to this point in her life. But who's really counting?

2. We, as parents, are being prepared for the teenage years. Cigarettes in the purse are going to be a breeze compared to these problems.

Yet even better...
3. We will be spared a difficult teenager all together because Eden's early years were so hard on us.

4. Now you are experiencing "normal" parenthood issues (broken bones and car accidents) verses the former heart condition, etc.

And my personal favorite...
5. God doesn't give you more than you can handle.


The truth is we will never know why all of this is happening or it's true linear progression. I definitely don't believe I am being dished all of this now only to be spared something more terrible later. And undoubtedly, we will handle whatever is next, as much as I like to think that my nerves can not take any more.

As for what I have been thinking: Eden is one tough girl. That's it. It's that simple. I was recently told by one of Eden's transplant nurses that I have been unfairly comparing Eden to "normal" kids her age (for size, feeding, etc) and if I continue I will never be satisfied. Even worse, I will never appreciate the amazing progress she has made. Instead, I should be comparing her to how far she has come, how much she has endured, and give more credit to her little body's miraculous ability to survive. In the last 10 weeks she has been through more "tragedy" than many people encounter in a lifetime. I've never broken a bone or had heart surgery, and all I did in the last 10 weeks was run. I just finished Denver's half marathon last weekend and was feeling pretty good, dare I say... tough. Oh no, Eden is the tough one.

P.S. Happy, happy birthday Jenny Bell. We love you!

Presenting Cast #2

After some delay, I am finally posting pictures of Eden's broken wrist. She is in a bit of denial about her newest "owie", as she doesn't really acknowledge it's existence. She is just starting to use both hands again. This once (nearly) right-handed 2 year old will soon be ambidextrous. She is even sucking her left thumb!

Eden saying, "cheese"!

Eden's cast turned out to be less intrusive than expected. She wore the splint for a week and will only need the cast for two more. The orthopedist also thought she could do with a half cast, rather than one that includes her elbow. This makes dressing her much easier. The best news, however, is that she can bathe! This cast, different than the one on her leg, is completely water proof. What a relief it has been to allow her to wash her hands. All together, this really was the best case scenario.

Home, home on the range

For a few days following Eden's latest fall, Brian seemed to be coaching me through each of my daily activities:

It started with... "get it together, Jane" (that's what he calls me) ...followed by scraping me up off the dining room floor as we headed to the ER with Eden. That was the harshest moment... they have been very gentle and subtle ever since.

Then, there was... "it's time to get out of bed" ,"could you call the pharmacy?" or "don't forget to stop by the grocery store".

And several times... "would you please eat something".

Finally, at Eden's transplant appointment on Friday, he asked for special permission to leave town and go to my parent's ranch in western Kansas. They could see the desperation in our eyes (I was on the brink of a complete meltdown) and agreed based on her heart's continued success.

So by that evening, we were in the car heading east... where the deer and antelope roam. This was truly divine intervention: two full days to relax in the solitude and relish in some good 'ol family time.

Eden had so much fun with her cousins, aunt, uncle, grandparents, and even the dogs. See cousins Campbell and Whitney below.

Thank you so much to "the ranch" for embracing, nourishing, entertaining, and replenishing us.

We will be back soon!

Get out your umbrellas

The weathermen of emotion say, "When it rains, it pours". So it must be monsoon season at our house.

On Wednesday morning... Eden looked like this:

On Wednesday afternoon, Eden was doing this:

We were so happy!

And after a blissful 4 hours.... this happened:

I know, I know. I have thought and felt everything you are... especially shock and wonder.

The shortest version of the story is that Eden took a nose dive off of the kitchen chair and onto the tile floor breaking both bones in her forearm, just at the wrist. I have struggled with deciding how to share this news, as I am having trouble understanding it as well. How can Eden handle any more? A heart transplant, broken leg, and now a broken arm?

Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day.

Among the fields of gold

It was a magical day for the Murphy family this weekend. Eden left the city and entered the mountains for the first time in over 7 months.

In her short life Eden hasn't yet grasped her parents love for the mountains, but she could feel our energy and was just happy to be out of the house.

My dear Eden Raine, welcome back to the mountains. What a pleasure it is to bring you here. My favorite time of year.




"I never make promises lightly.... but I swear in the days still left, we will walk in fields of gold."

An note from our aunt, sister... friend

I should mention that we asked Erin to send us some of her thoughts. She spent the third week post-transplant with us. Her help and presence were invaluable. Thanks, 'Tia'! We miss you. When are you coming back?

Hello, this is Brian’s sister, Erin, writing to you from Seattle. It has been 4 weeks since I returned from Denver and I still don’t know if I am recovered! I came from my little one bedroom condo where I live by myself. I don’t really cook, do laundry once a week, and clean only when necessary. So as you can imagine being in Denver for even one week was a huge change of pace for me. I had no idea how hard running a household can be. I also had no idea how a person who takes up such little space in the world could be such a force.



Eden did pretty well the first few days I was there, letting me give her baths, playing with my makeup, and letting me teach her new words that may or may not be appropriate (boobies!). She was and is a really funny, smart, amazing child. But she did struggle too. She threw up so hard one day that she just couldn’t quit dry heaving - her precious little body fighting so hard to not feel sick anymore. She screamed bloody murder when I tried to take her for a car ride – she is so frightened to be taken away from her parents. And she burst into tears when she had an accident in her big girl panties – we couldn’t tell if she was either embarrassed or unhappy about being wet.



As adults we are taught to be strong, to fight through even the most difficult of times, to not let hardship wear us down. If we have had great family and friends – a good support system – we manage thru even the most difficult of times. We do it for survival. But we rarely do it with as much charisma and humor as this 2 ½ year old does. Eden Raine has no way of understanding what she went through, she has no way to realize what a tremendously difficult life event she underwent. And she smiles still, she dances, and laughs, and plays, and loves.



When I sat down to write I thought I would talk about how hard it was on me to do some minor housework and play with my niece, but the more I have thought about my week there the more I realized how truly lucky I am to have had the opportunity to spend time with Eden and my family. Eden in her short life has taught me more about fighting thru difficult times, about survival when things seemed impossible, then I could have imagined. I know that she is my niece, so this may seem biased, but she truly is a miracle, and one that I am pleased and proud to watch go through all of life’s adventures!

Thanks to Alyssa and Mackenzie

Eden had a great time delivering these treats to her doctors and nurses at her latest clinic visit.

Here's how the appointment went (this is also my excuse to let you in on how Eden is spending two mornings a week!):

First, Eden gets her blood drawn (we have to be there when the lab doors open at 7:00am.... sooo early for a girl who likes her sleep!) Here, we are in the Nemo decorated room - Eden's personal favorite.

After offering our thanks with bread and brownies to these wonderful people that so quickly and cheerfully take our kiddo's blood, we were off to the Heart Institute. This is when we take medicine, try to eat some breakfast and wait a bit.

Next: Into the heart clinic for... vitals

Then: Echocardiogram and EKG

********

And finally: a visit with the nurse coordinators

(here you see Jilayne and DeDe)

We handed over our "gratitude grub" and were almost done. The last, and maybe the most important visit of the day, was back to the CICU. After all, we were thanking the individuals who allowed us this miracle, and who better than the Intensive Care nurses who cared for us all at our worst.

Oh Gillian, with grace and ease you entered our crazy lives. We walked into your shift just an hour after learning a heart was available for Eden. You treated us as though we entered a luncheon given in our honor. We are so grateful for your many talents and abundance of love. The same goes to Kim, Suzette and all the other nurses that touched Eden with their healing hands.

Enjoy the treats... Feel the love.