Four is more

Dear August,

You are four months old already... FOUR MONTHS!?! They always said that it would go fast. That before I knew it I would be packing your bags for college. But I didn't believe them until now - it just didn't happen that way with your sister. Every week druuuuug on... waiting for the next appointment with a specialist or potential diagnosis... waiting for her to reach the next developmental milestone or gain weight... and the worst, waiting for a heart to save her life. Time couldn't move fast enough when Eden was your age.

So here I am, comparing you two again. Sorry. The funny thing is... there is nothing to compare. You two are soooo different! It's like raising two completely different creatures. And no offense, but Eden's growth and development records are not that hard to beat. You impress me in so many other ways, though.

You are such a lover. And an EATER. It's funny how those two things go hand in hand these days. You still prefer to be held close... and if that includes some nursing time, even better. When we lean in to kiss you, you grab our checks or hair and pull us closer. You are probably just trying to eat us, but we like to think that you want more lovin'.

You smile all the time, laugh here and there, LOVE your feet, and stand on the most solid set of legs (we only need to hold your fingers to keep you upright) ... but what's amazing is your new-found sense of your surroundings. Maybe you can finally see or something, but no longer are you just awake... you're aware... and you're soaking in the world. You've recently decided that you like Brian and Eden as much as me - and when there is someone new around you just stare at them, like you're absorbing every feature and storing it for future recognition. You study other objects too. You'll sometimes pull out your pacifier and give it a good once over. The same goes for new toys and the mirror. I like to imagine you are so smart that you are solving some of the world's biggest problems while focusing on the light fixture or the button on your shirt.

I must admit, the 'three-month old you' was my favorite age yet. On the scale of work vs. fun, you finally tipped to the fun side and I can only see it getting better. Thus far, you have really been my baby. I fed you, I consoled you, I held you close like no one else could. And for the record, I knew you were great then, but the 'three month old you' made me laugh, played with Eden, and even watched a baseball game or two with your dad. You were finally FUN.

(just wish you would have smiled for these pictures!)